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The Physics of Christmas

1) No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. While most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18), but since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total - leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different times zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000 th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, at tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child get nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the “flying reindeer” can pull TEN TIMES that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the _Queen Elizabeth_II.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized in 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force.

In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents of Christmas Eve, he’s now dead. (This will be something you can tell your kids someday!)

Courtesy of jimgeary.com

Would you go back in time, and correct all the things you regreted doing? But, give up the person you love, memory and all, as a price?

Nah.

Video games are getting hard!

I find my self wondering sometimes how funny it is that it just takes one second, one word, one action, one thought to change the course of your life. It took me listing to esthero in my economics class to really think about things. What does this world really have for me? What do i have to offer it? I am of average height, a bit on the heavy side and i’m not one to light a room with my wit and charm either. All i can offer it is my thoughts. 

As humans, we are cursed with inhibitions and fear. Fear of not being excepted or liked. Inhibitions from speaking our minds in approval.  I have many fears, some that most people have not even thought about. Let me share with you my biggest fear. I like many of us, fear death. But what i fear most of all, are the moments before death. The last seconds before i slip into eternal slumber. The fear of my last thoughts. What will I think about: How horrible it is to be dying? Did i turn off the stove? Will i wake up in another place? Or how gross it will be that i will soil my self moments after death. What worries me is knowing that my mind could be jumping around to different things, and not the things that i want to think about. I don’t want to be thinking about the things that i regret doing and the things that i could have done. I just want to think about my future family and how blessed i was to have known them. Hopefully, smiling about the great life i lived. 

When the time will come when i will have to worry about these things are of course uncertain, but what is certain, is that we have a choice. A choice to better our selves. To save ourselves. My advice to you, my audience, is that you can always change yourself. Always. So, cheers to the future. 

“songs for the lost and forgotten”, has begun.